I was born and raised in the LDS church, and always felt a strong connection to the gospel and its teachings. Growing up in community and attending a high school where people of my faith were a significant minority, much of my faith was tested, and I left with numerous doubts, despite my continued faithfulness and participation in the church.
I saw college as an opportunity to better myself, both academically, and spiritually, and began my attendance at BYUI. In spite of these intentions, I quickly found out that this life is not one I want to live. I believe the church, while it does do good for the world, is overall an organization I am not comfortable supporting in the least.
In spite of this new, strong conviction, I live in fear of someone learning about it. I am forced to distance myself from everyone around me, due to the fear of someone learning my secret.
Keeping this secret has taken its toll on me. I have seen myself fall into depression, and am no longer the optimistic outgoing person I once considered myself to be. I believe that this experience of loneliness is not something that a student like myself should be going through for any reason, and I hope to get away as soon as possible.